Tidbits: Wine Humor - FAQS



Tidbits: Wine Humor - FAQS


Question:
How do I become a wine writer?
Answer:
There's no standard way to become a wine writer. I think most wine writers come in through the back door, from another field since there aren’t any wine writing schools. Your best bet is to read and taste all you can, and start cold calling editors. Start with your local newspaper or smaller wine publications, such as a neighborhood newspaper, and work your way up. It's a slow but enjoyable process.

I’d say when starting out that you get at least nineteen no’s for every yes. I don’t mean this as discouragement but there are many folks wanting to do this so you have to be persistent (and keep your day job for many years). Sometimes, the most effective approach is to find a publication that doesn’t have a wine column but should. Often the big papers and magazines have regular columnists and they don’t need other articles.

You should also try to prefect your craft in several ways: by reading all you can about wine, by tasting all the wines you can and by working on writing itself (take some journalism corses). Find someone, if you can, who is a veteran journalist, perhaps someone at the university to review your work—and pay that person if need be.

Even if you can’t get published at first, write some pieces on popular topics (food and wine matching or something seasonal such as great wines for the barbecue or something that’s a bit of a scoop like an interview with a visiting winemaker), polish it up and have it ready. Most editors just want one-paragraph ideas but you’ll have these as samples.

Keep trying. It’s lonely and hard for the first two to three years. But if you work at it, some day you may find yourself a full-fledged wine hack!


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



Question:
What are those "streaks" in my wine?
Answer:
The "streaks" in your wine are called the "legs". They fall like tears on the inside of your wine glass after you have finished swirling. The legs are a visual measure of the viscosity or thickness of the wine, and they are related to the glycerol content of the wine, which is related to the alcohol content, and sugar content or ripeness of the grapes used to make the wine. Wines that are more viscous, with more slowly forming and thicker legs, are said to be heavier in "body". Light bodied wines have virtually no legs and look like water when you swirl them in your glass. So in wine terms, "legs" are an eyeball measure of the "body" of the wine, whether heavy or full-bodied, medium-bodied, or light-bodied. It's a judgment call, that usually only professional tasters are interested in when they rate a wine on a numerical scale. But now you can act like a wine judge and know what you see when you swirl and wait for the legs!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Never accept a drink from a urologist."
~~ Erma Bombeck


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"Filmmaker/winemaker Francis Ford Coppola says the two professions are almost the same and that each depends on source material and takes a lot of time to perfect. The big difference: Today’s winemakers still worry about quality."
~~ Arizona Republic, January 22, 1998.


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I have made an important discovery... that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication."
~~ Oscar Wilde


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The only thing that should come between people and wine is the cork."
~~ Andrea Immer


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
I have a recipe for Venison Loin that calls for a Claret wine. Where I live wine is not a big deal. Can you tell me about it? I haven't found it yet.
Answer:
Claret is the name for any red Bordeaux wine blended from the Bordeaux black grapes Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Cabernet Franc, Malbec, and Petit Verdot etc. They also use the name Claret for some California red wines that are blended like a Bordeaux from the same grapes. Claret or red Bordeaux wines are very: dry, concentrated, oaky, deeply berry flavored, and complex. They are the type of red wines used in sauce "Bordelaise" which means Bordeaux sauce used on Tournedos of Beef. Claret or red Bordeaux style wines are definitely main course wines perfect with Crown Roast of Lamb or Venison or Filet Mignon etc. In California, many upscale versions are called a "Meritage" red wine, which is their name for a red, or white Bordeaux blend. Even if you only have one wine store in your area that sells some good wine, you will be able to find a French red Bordeaux-- inexpensive ones include MOUTON CADET, or MEDOC or HAUT MEDOC--or the California versions which can be labeled simply: CABERNET SAUVIGNON (after the main grape), or MERITAGE RED or CLARET. Again, these can also be anywhere from inexpensive to moderately priced to expensive. You choose your price range.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"It seems that researchers at Colorado University say wine may help people lose weight. It's not the wine directly that causes the weight loss, it's all the walking around you do trying to find your car."
~~ Jay Leno


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"It's a naïve wine without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."
~~ James Thurber


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"There are no dumb questions, only pretentious people."
~~ Winegeek.com


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Someone told me that Washington's wine country is on the same latitude as Bordeaux, France. Does that mean Washington produces the same type of high quality Cabernet/Merlot blends?
Answer:
Vineyards in Washington, the state just above Oregon, are at the same 46 degrees north latitude as Bordeaux, France. They cover the entire Columbia River basin in the dry, sagebrush-covered hills of the eastern part of the state. Because it is not rainy like the western side of the state which is on the Pacific Ocean, the vineyards are precisely irrigated, the growing season is extra long and the grapevines get two more hours of sunshine during the day than Napa Valley, California. The ideal of warm, dry days (for ripe fruit qualities) and cool nights (for good acidity) is achieved in almost every vintage. Even the deep, nutrient-poor, sandy loam soils are comparable to important parts of Bordeaux including St. Emilion, which is why the red Bordeaux varietals do as well in Washington. Other microclimates are great for every white grape variety including for the production of Dry Rieslings and Gewurztraminer. Consumers can find virtually every grape they could possibly desire in Washington. But to my mind, and as evidenced by their huge popularity in the marketplace, Washington Merlots are their very best wines-not just best red wine, but best wine, period.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"Compromises are for relationships, not wine."
~~ Sir Robert Scott Caywood


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Is a Trockenbeerenauslese as sweet as a Sauternes?
Answer:
I once measured the sugar content of a Trockenbeerenaulese compared to maple syrup and found the TBA was about 12% sugar by volume and the maple syrup was 88% sugar! The reason a German TBA never tastes as sweet as a French Sauternes is due to: 1. The TBA is botrytis Riesling grape which usually is very high in acidity that balances the natural grape sugar content and makes it appear less sweet; and 2. The Sauternes is made from botrytis Semillon grapes, which are richer than Riesling and produce more body, more alcohol and more sweetness because of lower acidity. But if you thought the Sauternes too sweet, you will probably appreciate the lower sweetness levels in German wine such as Beerenauslese and Auslese (still sweet enough for dessert).


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I am an event planner and I'm doing a dinner in New Orleans at Bella Lunas. I am going with Ferrari-Carano Chardonnay for the white, but I need some suggestions for the red. The meal will be a sit down surf n turf (filet and salmon). The group is very particular (they're in the food and beverage business!). I want the wine to be nice but stay in the $40-$60 a bottle range.
Answer:
I do a lot of corporate wine dinners myself, so I understand your need to have a blockbuster red for your salmon/filet mignon dinner at Bella Lunas in New Orleans. You have chosen one of my all-time favorite Chardonnays in the Ferrari-Carano. Good for you! Ferrari Carano also does one of the greatest reds in California = "Siena" = Sangiovese/Cabernet blend that is so elegant. I have served it for wine dinners for big time law firms and American Bar Association and they loved it. It usually sells for $40 in retail stores. However, if you want to use a different winery--I'd select Luce which is another "Super Tuscan" blend of Sangiovese and Cabernet from the joint venture of Robert Mondavi and Frescobaldi of Italy. It sells in retail stores for $60 a bottle. There are other "Super Tuscans" from Italy too such as "Avignonesi", Antinori's "Solaia" or "Tignanello", or Banfi's "Summus". The only other grape variety I would recommend for both Salmon and Filet is a PINOT NOIR--and there are excellent examples from Oregon such as Domaine Drouhin, Erath, Eyrie, and Sokol Blosser. Another is Beaux Freres made by Robert Parker the very famous wine writer of the Wine Advocate and his brother.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I have been interested in wine for about a year and have tried several different varietals and have seemed to plateau at my current level of understanding. Any suggestions? I also manage in the restaurant business so I am curious about new ways to describe wine to my employees as well.
Answer:
Just when you think you've had all the varietals available-new ones come out! For instance, California now accepts 8 red Bordeaux varieties for Meritage red wines: Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Malbec, Cabernet Franc, Petit Verdot, Gros Verdot, St. Macaire and Carmenere. Even I never knew St. Macaire was a separate grape. I did know Carmenere was grown in Chile where it is sometimes mistaken for Merlot, but I never knew it was the oldest of the Bordeaux grapes and has now, after 10 years effort, been brought to the U.S. and successfully grown at Guenoc Winery in Lake County, CA. So, you see there is always something new to learn.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"It is useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love, drunk, or running for office."
~~ Shirley MacLaine


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The secret to a long life is to stay busy, get plenty of exercise and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little."
~~ Hermann Smith-Johannson, 103-year-old cross-country skier


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Can I use my basement to store wines? It is pretty cool.
Answer:
Your basement could be very good for wine storage. The recommended temperature is in the range of 55-65 degrees F., and the recommended humidity is in the range of 60-75%. What really does damage to wine are bright, fluorescent lights; mold & odors; vibration, and extremes of temperature-if the temperature goes below 40 degrees F. you could cause tartrate crystals to precipitate out of your wines, and above 75 degrees F. you would age (i.e. oxidize) your wines more quickly.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I told my girlfriend last night how much I loved her, and she said that I must have been out drinking again. I asked her why she would say that, and she said, 'Because I'm your father.'"
~~ Dave George


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"If all the vine rows in Australia were laid end to end, they would reach nearly to the moon ... but how would we pick the grapes?"
~~ John Wilson


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk carefully."
~~ Old Russian Proverb


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
How can I make wine my career?
Answer:
There are a number of careers in wine: winemakers, viticulturalists (vineyard managers), winery restaurant chefs, marketers, public relations managers (either at a winery or with a firm that specializes in the wine industry), accountants, general managers, winery owners, investors, retailers, importers, buyers, sommeliers, auctioneers, consultants, tour operators, accessory store managers, events organizers, tasting room managers and writers.

Think carefully about what skills you have and what type of work you like because these jobs vary dramatically in what they entail. Think too of considerations such as hours, pay and credentials required. I’ve written about winemakers and sommeliers (you can find these in my Articles section). For these and other careers, your best bet is talk to someone already doing that job and to shadow them for a day or two.


Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



Question:
I would like to buy a fine wine that my wife and I would enjoy but I don't know how to purchase fine wine. Could you please send me some names?
Answer:
Here are my suggestions for fine wines to buy for you and your wife: 1. FRENCH CHAMPAGNE--Veuve Clicquot, Taittinger, Mumm Cordon Rouge--all are Brut and Vintage (the finest) or Non-Vintage (less expensive); 2. VINTAGE PORTO--Grahams, Warres, Dows, Quinto do Noval, Smith-Woodhouse--all from vintages such as 1994 or if you can find older vintages such as 1977 that would be fantastic--these are all sweet, red dessert wines; 3. CALIFORNIA CABERNET SAUVIGNONS--Chateau St. Jean "Cinq Cepages"; Guenoc "Reserve", Langtry or Beckstoffer Vineyard; St. Supery "Meritage" Red; Mondavi Reserve-all from the 1995, 1996, 1997 or 1998 vintages-and there are lots more collectors items starting at $80 such as Opus One, Dominus, Niebaum- Coppola "Rubicon" etc.; 4. FRENCH RED BORDEAUX--if you can afford the first growths such as Chateau Margaux or Chateau Mouton-Rothschild, then buy. If they are too expensive, buy other "cru classe" from Haut Medoc such as Ch. Dauzac (Margaux), Ch. Ducru-Beaucailou (St. Julien) etc. Get help in a fine wine store. 5. FRENCH RED BURGUNDY--buy them young, recent vintages, because they are all 100% Pinot Noir. The great ones will be in the locked in the wine vault of any good wine store, with plenty of others in more moderate price ranges on the floor. 6. FRENCH RED RHONE-buy young, recent vintages of Chateauneuf du Pape, Gigondas, Cote Rotie, Hermitage, St. Joseph, Cornas -these are all based on the Syrah grape and delicious, big, blockbuster reds. Also try the Australia equivalent which are the better Shiraz wines.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
I recently acquired some excellent Spanish wine and noted the term Cosecha on the label of the bottle. Is Cosecha a local name for a grape? I am familiar with the Tempranillo, Garnacha (red) grape varieties.
Answer:
Your Spanish wine knowledge is really good! You know the pertinent facts. Under the D.O. (Denominacion de Origen) wine laws in Spain, COSECHA means harvest in Spanish, and COSECHA is the Vintage Year of the wine. Vino de Cosecha means wine that is at least 85% from the vintage year on the label- -most are 100% from one vintage year if there is a Cosecha on the label. In other words, a Cosecha 1989 wine is vintage year 1989, the year the grapes were harvested. Good Luck with your further studies! By the way, have you tried the Priorat red wines from Spain? They are delicious Garnacha, very upscale.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on."
~~ Oscar Levant


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I drink to forget I drink."
~~ Joe E. Lewis


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"My uncle was the town drunk—and we lived in Chicago."
~~ George Gobel


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
What does the term "terroir" mean? In plain English please! Is it used exclusively with regard to French wines?
Answer:
Most Americans are terrified of this word because it is hard to pronounce- tair wahr-and it is a very hard concept to understand. "Terroir" is a French term--meaning differences in geography, soil and climate from one vineyard to the next will produce distinct differences in the taste of the wine even if they grow the same grapes. It is a term that originated in Burgundy, France-but it is important in every wine country. The finest and most expensive wines in the world from any country-whether labeled by grape variety, controlled name of origin or level of quality by sugar content-- are "single vineyard" wines that name the individual vineyard where the grapes were grown. This is much like the difference in terroir that produces Kona Vintage Chocolate from Hawaii or Jamaica Blue Mountain Coffee. What a difference a place makes. Finally, the reputation of the winery and its winemaker are also an indication of quality-as is the vintage year, the year of harvest, on the label. The vintage year is not the year the wine was made since some wines are in production for 2-3 years. Every year all wineries have to grow an entire new crop of grapes. Some years the weather is good and the harvest of fruit (grapes) is good. Without good grapes you cannot make good wine. If the weather is not good during a growing season, it is not rated a good vintage year.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like."
~~ Garrison Keillor


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Is there a good, inexpensive wine similar to Chateauneuf du Pape?
Answer:
That's easy! Chateauneuf du Pape is a famous French Rhone wine, and the red is made from Syrah grapes blended with other grapes such as Grenache, Mourvedre etc. So those in the know buy French COTES DU RHONE red wine because it is always about $10 a bottle and made from the same grapes.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"As far as I am concerned, there are only two types of wine, those I like and those I don't."
~~ The Essential Wine Buff, 1996


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


"I drink to make other people interesting."
~~ George Jean Nathan


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
Since I have become a vegetarian I cannot drink heavy wines. I am making a special polenta main course with a wild mushroom sauce that has port wine in it, what would you recommend as the wine partner?
Answer:
Your vegetarian meal sounds delicious. I would choose a red since you are using port in the mushroom sauce. However, you do not want to overpower the polenta since it has no heavy meat, so I'd suggest a dry, red with some deep concentration of fruit such as a MERLOT (which is very smooth and the most popular red wine)--you can find many examples in any good wine store, most will be from wineries in California. Choose your price range and they will find one for you!


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


"I don't drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk."
~~ Richard Harris


Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



Question:
What is Shiraz exactly? I have a bottle-what dish should I prepare?
Answer:
Shiraz is Australia's name for the Syrah grape, which originates from the Rhone River wine region in France. It is very popular because it's smooth with some black raspberry flavors and lots of spice. A Shiraz is great with any type of barbecue or grilled menu-- from hamburgers to steak, ribs, chicken, pork etc. Prices range from $8-$80+.


Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



Question:
What does it mean to decant wine and how do you do it?
Answer:
Pouring wine from its bottle into some other container: a carafe, a decanter, even a water jug.
  • Make sure the decanter and the mouth of the bottle are clean.
  • To decant a bottle with sediment, first leave it upright for about a day to settle the sediment at the bottom.
  • For the actual pouring process, stand a flashlight on the table so that it shines upwards—it gives stronger light than the classic lit candle. Place the decanter beside it and pour the wine so that the light shines through the neck of the bottle. This will allow you to see when the sediment is approaching, so that you can stop pouring then.
  • Discard the dregs left in the bottle.
  • Leave younger wines in the decanter for about an hour or two, and older wines anywhere from fifteen minutes to a half an hour. Taste the wine periodically to see how it’s opening up. If you decide that the wine has peaked, but the guests aren’t due for a while, drape a cloth over the top of the decanter to slow aeration.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



  • Question:
    Can I buy a good bottle of Champagne for $100?
    Answer:
    You most certainly can buy a respectable bottle of Champagne. All of the following are Brut (very dry) and Vintage dated (from single vintage year declared great). Here are my favorites: Alfred Gratien "Cuvee Paradis", Taittinger "Comte de Champagne" Blanc de Blanc, Veuve Clicquot "La Grande Dame", Dom Perignon, Perrier-Jouet "Fleur de Champagne", Louis Roederer Cristal, Mumm "Rene Lalou", Heidsieck "Diamant Blu", Pol Roger "Winston Churchill", Pommery "Cuvee Louise".
    Answer:
    Making good wine at home is more difficult than making beer. My suggestion is that you look in the yellow pages for your city and find a beer & winemaking supplies store. We have one called "Wine Art" in Atlanta. They can give you great advice on how to turn grapes into wine--plus sell you the equipment. There are also local beer/wine making clubs I'm sure-we have several. Look on the Internet too for resources. You don't say what kind of grapes you will be using--it makes a big difference in the kind of wine you can make. My Grandparents made wine in a cellar just like they did in Italy from fresh Zinfandel grapes sent from California at harvest time. To make good tasting wine you need help!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    What are some inexpensive whites and reds under $15?
    Answer:
    It would take pages to give you some white and red wines under $15--there are literally dozens and dozens I could recommend. Before I can answer your question I need to know whether you like dry wines or medium dry or slightly sweet? Do you like heavy wines or light? Do you prefer classic French wines or California? Also, I do not know what is available in your area, wherever that is. So let me just assume you like dry white and red wines from any country. In which case, wines just under $15 can include the following types: 1. Australia "Shiraz"--deliciously smooth, dry red and the most famous grape (really the Syrah grape) in Australia--a good one is always the Rosemount, Greg Norman, Hardy's, WaterWheel "Bendigo" etc. 2. California "Sauvignon Blanc" as a change from Chardonnay, this white grape makes a lighter style white, dry wine with a citrusy, grapefruit aroma and taste that is very good with a wide range of foods. Brands I recommend include: St. Supery, Groth, Buena Vista etc. Even New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs are world famous, so try one of those too such as Cloudy Bay, or Geisen. Go to a fine wine store in your area and ask them to help you find these types of wine--they'll have many brand names in your price.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I wanted to know how to make wine from grape juice.
    Answer:
    Sounds easy but it's very difficult, even for winemakers! Basically wine is fermented grape juice--so you could just add yeast to grape juice to create fermentation that creates alcohol. But unless you do this with instructions and the proper equipment and the right grape juice, you will get vinegar the minute the juice stops fermenting and is exposed to the air! My recommendation is to go to a store that sells beer-making supplies for homemade beer and see if they also sell winemaking supplies and kits for making homemade wine. They will give you instructions and tips on how to make the wine. It's tricky so you need professional assistance. That's why we applaud real wineries for making such good wine!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    How do I find a wine if it’s not in my wine store?
    Answer:
    Many readers tell me about a fabulous wine they had on vacation or at a friend’s house but couldn’t find in their local wine store. To find a wine, first check the liquor store’s web site, as many have searchable databases that will tell you whether they stock the wine and at which locations. Some chains also have hotlines you can call. If they don’t sell the wine, they may be able to give you the name and phone number of the sales agent who represents it so that you can buy directly. You can also look at the winery’s web site, which often lists local retailers or agents. If not, you can e-mail the general mailbox to ask about them.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



    Question:
    Should some wines not be decanted?
    Answer:
    Even decanting hardliners admit that some wines just aren’t made for airing out. Delicate red wines, such as pinot noir, aren’t usually decanted because their subtle aromas can quickly dissipate. The same goes for zesty whites, such as rieslings and sauvignon blanc: they can lose their crisp, refreshing edge. Others are borderline: full-bodied whites, such as oaky chardonnays and some sweet wines, may benefit from decanting, depending on the style you like.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


    "Every time I learn something new it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Like that time I took that home wine making course and forgot how to drive."
    ~~ Homer Simpson


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors and miss."
    ~~ Lazarus Long


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    The best steak restaurants have an overwhelming list of red wines. How do I navigate through the many possibilities?
    Answer:
    A good steak pairs best with good red wine. Most of the fine steak restaurants sell much more of the better red wines than white for good reason--the reds help us digest the steak better and keep our arteries clearer! You don't tell me what kinds of wine your like so I'm going to suggest you develop a taste for the great Cabernet Sauvignon/Merlot blends from California. Many are called "Meritage Red". Some of the best are: ESTANCIA "Meritage", ST. SUPERY "Meritage", CHATEAU ST. JEAN "Cinq Cepages", CAIN Cuvee, BERINGER "Alluvium", and BEAULIEU VINEYARD "Tapestry" etc.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    Are there any American wines that are comparable to the German Spatlese and Auslese wines? I haven't found any yet with the same taste.
    Answer:
    The ATF in America does not allow the use of German terms such as Spatlese or Auslese on U.S. wine labels so they are called in English: Late Harvest (Spatlese) and Select Late Harvest (Auslese and above). And of course the famous grape of Germany is the Riesling. So look for Riesling--Late Harvest or Riesling--Select Late Harvest from California wineries such as: KENDALL- JACKSON, BERINGER, JOSEPH PHELPS etc. Even some Washington wineries such as HOGUE or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE do these dessert style Rieslings. They will be higher in price than drier Rieslings because they can only be made--just as in Germany--in great vintage years when there are weeks of extra sunshine past the normal harvest dates to make the grapes very ripe. Good Luck finding the ones you like. Any fine wine store in your area should have several of these--even if they are locked in their wine vault. Otherwise, buy the German originals, which are widely available in the U.S.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    We always order antipasti at our local Italian restaurant and love the platter of salami, cheeses, peppers, etc. We usually have a white wine, but what a red better?
    Answer:
    Being Italian-American, I love Italian wines and food and can give you several red wine suggestions for antipasti. The traditional antipasti with proscuitto, salami, peppers, cheeses etc. is perfectly partnered by the Italian red grape SANGIOVESE which originates from Tuscany and is used to make CHIANTI CLASSICO RISERVAS (the best type of Chianti), ROSSO DI MONTALCINO (less expensive version of the great Sangiovese red called Brunello di Montalcino), and many other Tuscan reds just simply labeled SANGIOVESE for the grape variety. The reason Sangiovese is so good with Antipasti is that it is not too heavy--medium bodied--has aromas of cherries in brandy--and more acidity than tannin (astringency), so it's smoother than most other Italian red wines. Of course Sangiovese is also grown in California and Argentina too, and they are also very good. But try the Italian versions first--many can be bought in the U.S. at $8-$10 a bottle for the simply labeled Sangiovese.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I have a very traditional Japanese restaurant. Guests want wine with our food, not just sake. What kinds of wine do you recommend with raw fish, deep fried fish, and simmered dishes?
    Answer:
    Some of the best wines with sushi, sashimi (raw fish) are actually from Australia. They include the white, dry, fruity SEMILLON-CHARDONNAY from famous Australia producers such as Penfolds. Called Sem-Chards for short, they are made specifically to go with Asian or Pacific Rim cuisine. Other good wine choices for fried fish dishes include DRY RIESLINGS from Washington State or California such as Hogue or Clos du Bois. For simmered dishes and the fried fish you could also choose a dry red--PINOT NOIR-- especially from Oregon such as Sokol Blosser or from California such as DeLoach. French wines are a bit problematical with Japanese foods, but white, dry ALSACE wines from France, particularly those made from RIESLING or PINOT GRIS or PINOT BLANC grapes will match well. As for French red wines, you might best serve some red Rhone wines such as COTES DU RHONE with your menu items.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "The wine seems to be very closed-in and seems to have entered a dumb stage. Sort of a Marcel Meursault."
    ~~ Paul Winalski


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    During my last visit to Italy, I was told of a Grappa. It is supposed to be 90-95 proof. Would you know where in Italy it could be purchased?
    Answer:
    Grappa is a grape brandy that can be made in two versions in Italy: 1. The clear, colorless, firewater!, inexpensive brandy distilled from left over grape skins etc. from winemaking in all parts of Italy and available everywhere in the U.S. too; or 2. The golden color, richer, smoother, expensive Grappa made from the finest wine grapes used for famous Italian wines and given their names such as Grappa di Barolo, Grappa di Brunello etc. These are aged in oak barrels like fine Cognac and that's how they get to be so golden and smooth. They are expensive and can be high in alcohol (high proof). They can be found in the U.S. or purchased in the regions where made, i.e. Piedmont for Barolo and Tuscany for Brunello. Any great wine store that also sells brandy in Italy will have them--and ditto in the U.S. The brand name you mention is not in my list of brands available where I live in Atlanta. If a friend has a bottle, ask them "who is the importer or producer named on the label"? Then you can ask your favorite wine store to look it up in the Beverage Journal by wholesaler and importer.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    Recently I was served an unknown Austrian "Grunerveltliner" I know very little about this varietal and would like to learn more.
    Answer:
    In Austria the white grape variety Gruner Veltiner accounts for more than 1/3 of their vines. It makes a dry, light to medium body wine with crisp acidity and can be slightly "spritzig" which means little bubbles of carbon dioxide in the bottom of the glass left after fermentation. It is describes as having a smoky or white pepper aroma, and is not aged in oak so is meant to be consumed within 3 years of the vintage. Most are labeled "trocken" meaning dry. Austrian wines are hard to find in the U.S.A. Most major producers such as Lenz Moser produce a Gruner Veltliner. This grape is also grown in Hungary. If you cannot find it in your market-a good substitute could be a German "Trocken" or "Halb-Trocken) made from light, slightly aromatic grapes such as Pinot Blanc or Pinot Gris or Sylvaner. The most aromatic will be the Pinot Gris, called Pinot Grigio in Italy. It is slightlu spicy-not as spicy as Gewurztraminer. Alsace also makes good dry Pinot Blanc and Pinot Gris-Alsace is on the French side of the Rhein River across from Baden, Germany. Price will depend on the reputation of the producer. And Austria produces excellent white, sweet, dessert wines that are labeled according to sugar content like German wines, so you can find Austrian Beerenauslese etc. that is wonderful. There are also several red wines from Austria available in the U.S.A.-I had a dry red called Zweigert after the grape variety that was fruity and similar to a Beaujolais in style. Austria's other famous red grapes include: Blaufrankisch and Lemberger. Go into a fine wine store in your area and ask to see these grape varieties from the countries you're interested in and you will find a range of prices and producers.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    How do I find out the price of this wine?
    Answer:
    Readers who discover a dusty old bottle in their cellar often ask me this question (as do those inquisitive types who are given a gift of wine and would like to know how much it’s worth). You can check the web site of your local liquor store or the winery itself. But in the case of older wines, you may want to search the web site of the auction houses, such as Christies and Sothebys, which give the prices paid for mature bottles.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



    Question:
    Why do they tell you to let the wine "breathe"?
    Answer:
    All wines benefit from a little "breathing" time after they are opened for two reasons: 1. To aerate the wine to remove any cellar smells and open up the aroma; and 2. To soften the tannins in the wine and make it taste smoother. This last reason particularly applies to young red wines, which have the most tannin (astringency). But simply pulling the cork does not open enough surface area to let the wine breathe, so the best way to let a wine breathe is to pour it into a wine glass, filling the glass no more than 1/3 full. Then by swirling the wine in the glass you can aerate it completely because of the wide surface area of the wine in the glass. Many wine experts also decant their wines to aerate them-the wine is aerated as it is poured through the air into the decanter. The only wines you do not let breathe in this way, are very old reds--they are rather fragile and their first aromas are superb, but quickly fade when they are exposed to the air. By the way, the saying goes: "air is the enemy of wine when too much of it oxidizes the wine and turns it brown; air is the friend of wine when it allows the wine to breathe in your glass." In other words, you want to ventilate your wines a bit, not hyperventilate them!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "I have never been drunk. On occasion, I may have been over-served."
    ~~ Unknown


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt."
    ~~ Dean Martin


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Dinner at the Huntercombes' possessed only two dramatic features — the wine was a farce and the food a tragedy."
    ~~ Anthony Powell


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "If you drink like a fish, don't drive. Swim."
    ~~ Joe E. Lewis


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "If you want to become a rich, pretentious snot – and who doesn't? – you should learn about wine."
    ~~ Dave Barry


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    What is the best wine to gift for a close friend's Anniversary?
    Answer:
    What a thoughtful friend you are! The perfect wines to give as Anniversary gifts are either those they can consume then and there to celebrate, such as French Champagne, or fine red wines or vintage Portos that can be saved and aged until the 10th anniversary. So if you want French Champagne, buy Brut Vintage if you can afford it. Brut means dry, and Vintage means from a single vintage year that is declared great. Best brands include: In the $35 price range MUMM Cordon Rouge, POMMERY, TAITTINGER Brut La Francaise, HEISIECK, VEUVE CLICQUOT etc. These also go all the way up to $90 per bottle for their best "cuveé"-such as Dom Perignon, Cuvee Louise, Taittinger Comtes de Champagne, and Fleur de Champagne in hand painted flower bottle by Perrier-Jouet. Any Vintage Porto--especially 1994s on the market now--will be great for keeping 10-15 years. Any great Cabernet Sauvignon from California or red Bordeaux will also make a fantastic gift for saving 10 years. Go to the best wine store in your area and ask their wine consultant to find these items in your price range. My suggestion is the immediate gratification of good French Champagne!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    How does one tell if a bottle of wine is from the Burgundy region or from Bordeaux if it does not tell you on the label?
    Answer:
    Ah, there's the rub! They do tell you on French wine labels whether it's a Bordeaux or Burgundy by giving you the "Appellation Controllee" or controlled name of origin which is a place name. But you have to be able to recognize the place names as coming from either Bordeaux or Burgundy. That's why I spend so much time on French wines when I teach Wine School-- you have to familiarize yourself with a lot of place names, i.e. districts, communes, vineyards. But here is a secret shortcut just for you. Look at the shape of the bottles--the Bordeauxs are always in tall, high-shouldered bottles called Bordeaux bottles and that's why even in California or Australia they use the same shape Bordeaux bottle for Bordeaux grapes such as Cabernet Sauvignon or Merlot or Sauvignon Blanc. And the Burgundy shape bottle in France is always squatter with sloping shoulders--and that again is why all over the world they use Burgundy shape bottles for the Burgundy grapes Chardonnay and Pinot Noir. Also, at the bottom of the wine labels, you can look for the word "Bordeaux" or "Bourgogne (Burgundy) or Cote d'Or (the best district in Burgundy)" as the location of the producer. This should help you considerably!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    What is verjuice or verjus, and how can I get it or make it myself?
    Answer:
    Verjuice is the juice of unripened grapes. The only way to get it is to pick them in a vineyard before they ripen for harvesting. Verjuice can be found in gourmet and specialty stores. It is very sour, and a good substitute for Verjuice is a good white wine vinegar.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer."
    ~~ Clement Freud


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "The best use of bad wine is to drive away poor relations."
    ~~ French proverb


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Can you recommend different types of wines--white vs. red varietals and Champagne--for my wedding? The food selection will be buffet.
    Answer:
    Congratulations! I have helped many brides to be with their wine wedding plans. First there is usually a bar during reception--and what you need is good, but relatively moderate-priced Chardonnay (dry white), Merlot (smooth dry red), and White Zinfandel (blushing pink slightly sweet wine). There are many California brand names that will do such as NAPA RIDGE or TALUS (inexpensive), or CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE or VILLA MT. EDEN (moderate price just over and under $10 a bottle). At the table, when everyone is seated, you will need the same types of wine, but because everyone can look at the labels on the bottles as they are being served, you can use the last two wineries I named or go up one step in price to wineries such as FREEMARK ABBEY, BERINGER, RAVENSWOOD, ST. FRANCIS, CHATEAU ST. JEAN etc. As for the Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- Champagne, you can have one good French Champagne for a single glass toast- BRUT LA FRANCAISE, VEUVE CLICQUOT BRUT N.V., ROEDERER BRUT N.V. etc.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I eat turkey year round, not just at Thanksgiving. What wines would I serve?
    Answer:
    With Turkey, you can choose either a red or white wine depending on your preference. Most people who like lighter wines choose a soft white wine such as RIESLING. It does not have to be a sweet Riesling, it can be a drier style, but will have wonderful aromas of apple and peach. The best Rieslings in the world are made in Germany, but there are many good ones made in the U.S. Choose the medium-dry styles such as Kabinett from Germany. As for a red wine, these days everyone prefers again a lighter dry red and I would choose a MERLOT from California to go with your Turkey-- especially if its a roasted bird!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    As a special treat, I am doing a romantic dinner with Crown Roast of Lamb as the main course. I want a special wine to go with it.
    Answer:
    The classic wine combination for Crown Roast of Lamb is a Cabernet Sauvignon or red Bordeaux wine. But since your recipe marinates the lamb in rosemary and garlic, I would suggest a "warmer" tasting red wine with more of a Mediterranean flavor such as: COTES DU RHONE from France. It is a blend of the red Rhone grapes including Syrah, and is moderately priced at under $15 per bottle. The more expensive version from the Rhone River region in France is called CHATEAUNEUF DU PAPE, and you can find it for $20 and over in most wine stores. Both Rhone reds are spicy, dry, full-bodied red wines. You can also buy SYRAH wines from California such as Stag's Leap from Napa. Another California red wine that makes a perfect partner for your lamb is ZINFANDEL--and you can find many excellent examples in the $15 price range such as: Villa Mt. Eden (delicious, a great value from Napa), Rabbit Ridge, Ravenswood, Roseblum etc. Zinfandel is also a dry red, with spice, black raspberry or blackberry flavors.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "There are more old drunkards than old doctors."
    ~~ French


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Which types of decanters are best?
    Answer:
    You need a decanter large enough to hold the contents of a standard bottle, with some room at the top to allow the wine to breathe. Decanters that maximize the wine-to-air surface ratio are best for young wines, while those with narrow necks that reduce air exposure are better for older wines that just need their sediment removed.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



    Question:
    Thai food is not only exotic; it is so exciting to eat. We love red curry Thai style, but are there wines that can stand up to it?
    Answer:
    I myself had Thai Red Curry Chicken for lunch the other day, so I have it firmly in my memory. Some wine experts would say to serve a Gewurztraminer with it, but really it's almost too spicy a wine for the subtle Thai style. Instead I would suggest either a California or New Zealand SAUVIGNON BLANC- Instead I would suggest either a California or New Zealand SAUVIGNON BLANC- citrusy aroma and flavor. My favorite New Zealand Sauvignon Blancs are Cloudy Bay and Giesen; and from Calfornia I prefer: St. Supery, Guenoc and Quivira "Fig Tree" Vineyard, and Groth. Your local fine wine store can help you find these. Other good choices are RIESLING in the dry style from Washington or Germany, or Australia SEMILLON-CHARDONNAY which is made to partner Pacific Rim cuisine with Asian influences. And if you are a real French wine connoisseur--then try Alsace "Tokay" which is the Pinot Gris grape--it is the only other spicy grape in the world--but much less spicy than Gewurztraminer--and the Alsace syle will be dry. My favorite brand is Lucien Albrecht Tokay Pinot Gris "Vielles Vignes" old vines.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "On one occasion some one put a very little wine into a glass, and said that it was sixteen years old. 'It is very small for its age,' said Gnathaena."
    ~~ Athenaeus


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "When my mom got really mad, she would say, 'Your butt is my meat.' Not a particularly attractive phrase. And I always wondered, ''Now, what wine goes with that?'"
    ~~ Jonathan Solomon


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A mind of the calibre of mine cannot derive its nutriment from cows."
    ~~ George Bernard Shaw


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    What is ice wine and how and when should it be served?
    Answer:
    Eiswein is the German name for "ice wine". This means it is made in vintage years when it actually snows on the grapes and freezes them solid. By law the grapes have to be crushed while they are still frozen and the ice crystals hold the water and allow the sweet natural grape juice alone to go into fermentation. This produces one of the world's greatest dessert wines, and is rare and costly. Most German Eiswein is made from Riesling grapes, and is sold in half-bottles. It should be served chilled in small, clear glasses after dinner as a dessert. If you do serve a dessert along side it, choose simple pound cake with fruit, shortbread cookies, creme caramel or bread pudding. Ice wine is also made in Canada, New York and California. The ATF of the U.S. government does not allow the use of the German word Eiswein on the label, so it will be called "ice wine" in English or "vin glaciere" in French.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    At big family gatherings whether a sit down dinner or picnic we like to serve ham. Can we keep it simple with the wine?
    Answer:
    Ham will be wonderful with the perfect wine partners. You don't say what kind of wines you like--white or red, dry or sweet--so I'm going to give you several suggestions: 1. Rosé or blushing pink wines do very well with ham. These are light wines and usually medium-dry. Try any brand "White Zinfandel" for a berry flavor, slightly sweet, low alcohol wine you can serve chilled. For a drier style Rosé, you can find "blanc de noir" sparkling wines and regular wines from California such as Chandon "Blanc de Noir" sparkling or Simi Rose of Cabernet. There are also several French dry Rosés such as Guigal "Tavel Rosé" 1997 $17 or Domaine Sorin Rosé from Cotes du Rhone 1998 $12. 2. If you want a white wine, choose either a German Riesling Kabinett, which will not be too sweet and delicious with ham; or for a drier white wine choose a California Sauvignon Blanc such as St. Supery or Quivira "Fig Tree" or Guenoc. 3. If you prefer a red wine, either a Gamay Beaujolais from California or a Zinfandel (this black grape can make either the blush pink wine or dry red wine) such as Ridge Coast Range II about $13.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    I really enjoy seafood at this time of year-Spring-especially salmon, shrimp, and crab. However, I love red wine (Cabs and Merlots). How can I combine these two items without disrupting the flavor of both?
    Answer:
    There are several ways to have red wines with seafood, and lovely Spring weather. First, PINOT NOIR is my favorite red grape variety when eating grilled Salmon, and it pairs very well with other seafood dishes especially if Hong Kong or Hawaiian style steamed seafood with some soy/ginger in the sauce, or mushrooms or cheese. Second, MERLOT (as well as Pinot Noir) pairs well with the thick fish steaks such as Swordfish or Marlin. Very rare Tuna however is a hard match for most wines, but you can experiment (or cook the Tuna more thoroughly on the grill). Third, fried fish dishes such as fried oysters or fried clams or fried shrimp also seem to go well with Pinot Noir and Merlot, as well as the other lighter black grape varieties such as GAMAY BEAUJOLAIS from California or red SANCERRE from Loire region of France which is made with Pinot Noir or even a red ANJOU wine from the Loire which is a light style Cabernet Franc grape wine. In the Loire they have many fresh oysters and shellfish and these lighter wines match them very well.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "I don't drink; I don't like it ~ it makes me feel good."
    ~~ Oscar Levant


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers. While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain."
    ~~ Baron Rothschild


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few."
    ~~ Spanish saying


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age."
    ~~ Steven Wright


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    A number of red wines have a certain quality I don't like. They make my tongue dry and bitter.
    Answer:
    The sensations you describe on your tongue are both from the "tannin" in wines. Tannin is the same tannic acid found in a cup of strong tea. It is a natural preservative in wine and most of it comes from black grape skins-- so red wines, especially when young have the most tannin. Tannin gives an astringent taste and also a dry sensation on the tongue-so it is both a taste and a tactile sensation. Wines that are aged in oak barrels also pick up wood tannin--and this is usually the only source of tannin in white wines. To summarize, if you don't like the taste of tannin in wines, then choose either light white wines that are not oaky, such as Riesling, Pinot Blanc, Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Grigio which are called "soft" wines, or light red wines with little tannin such as Gamay Beaujolais, Dolcetto, Lambrusco and Pinot Noir. Also, medium-bodied dry, red wines with soft tannins such as Merlot, Sangiovese or Shiraz are very popular exactly because they are smoother, less astringent wines. Avoid the blockbuster reds such as Cabernet Sauvignon, which have the most tannin. But that's the good thing about tannin--it allows the best red wines to live for many years in the bottle. It also has been shown to help keep your arteries clear. Many Europeans learn to like the taste of tannin by mixing half red wine and half non-sparkling mineral water. And those that can afford it buy much older red wine collector's items because their tannins have precipitated out as sediment and the wines will taste much smoother than when they were young.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    How long do wines keep once opened?
    Answer:
    The answer is a highly subjective, according to both the wine and the drinker. Generally, dry white wines have the shortest life once opened. I find they lose their character after even one or two days, especially cheaply-made, oaky New World whites. (Whites with good acidity and lots of character from Burgundy are an exception.) For reds, I think that most start to slip after two days, though again it depends on how well the wine was made. There are always exceptions.

    Sweet and fortified wines, such as icewine, port and sherry, have a longer life because of their higher sweetness and/or alcohol, both of which act as a preservative. I still like most opened icewines after three to four days; ports from one week to four, depending on their quality. You can extend the life of any opened wine by giving it a few squirts of liquid nitrogen, such as Wine Preserver, a spray can sold in many liquor and wine accessory stores. Another trick is to pour your remaining wine into a clean, empty half bottle size and cork it. This also minimizes the amount of oxygen that can affect the wine. Some drinkers don't mind a wine that's still 60-80% there in terms of its character; others want the full expression or nothing. I tend to err on the latter side of the ledger.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



    Question:
    Could you tell me how long I can keep opened wines?
    Answer:
    In general you can store red wines with the cork re-inserted in a cool place for several days before it loses its freshness (turns a little vinegary after that). But the best way to store red wines is with a vacuvin. It is a white plastic pump with a gray rubber stopper that cost about $14 in wine stores. You insert the gray stopper in the half full wine bottle and use the plastic pump to take out the air and create a vacuum, thus preserving the wine longer (air oxidizes wine). With this vacuvin, you can keep reds for a week or two and whites can be kept cold in the refrigerator for about as long. If you use the regular cork in white wines that are stored in the refrigerator, they will pick up off odors from the foods in there--so it's better to use the vacuvin. If you cannot find vacuvin, then buy a simple bottle stopper with those porcelain/rubber rings and metal push down closure--every wine or cooking store sells them for less than $1. The only types of wines that cannot be kept fresh with a vacuvin are Champagnes and Sparkling wines because of their bubbles. Once you have enjoyed some of the Champagne or Sparkling wine, you will have to use a metal closure that screws down over the bottle to keep the wine fizzy. They are better than the other type with metal wings that snap down over the bottle. Both can be found in most wine stores.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk."
    ~~ Lee Entrekin.


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A psychologist once said that we know little about the conscience - except that it is soluble in alcohol."
    ~~ Thomas Blackburn


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    I have long heard that the best wines in the world are French, and that in the four major classifications they are Romanee-Conti (red burgundy), Chateau Lafite Rothschild (red bordeaux), Le Montrachet (white burgundy), and Chateau d'YQuem (white bordeaux). Would you agree?
    Answer:
    The only reason people get away with even discussing the "top" French wines is that unlike our U.S.A. wine laws, the French government wine laws actually have official "rankings" of certain types of French wines. They rank red Bordeaux wines from the Medoc for instance and have 5 chateaux that rate in the highest category: Ch. Lafite-Rothschild, Ch. Mouton- Rothschild, Ch. Latour, Ch. Margaux, Ch. Haut-Brion. All five are of equivalent quality--so no Lafite is not the only top rated red Bordeaux. Same goes for the classification of Sauternes from Bordeaux--Ch. d'Yquem is the only Sauternes rated above the others however, so yes, it is for Sauternes (not for all white Bordeaux because Graves has its own classification). As for Romanee-Conti, yes it is rated a "Grand Cru" single vineyard in Burgundy, but there are 29 other vineyards rated "Grand Cru" in the Cote d'Or best part of Burgundy where it's located. But it is certainly one of the most costly red Burgundies and with great collector's value. And finally, Le Montrachet is also one of the 30 "Grand Cru" single vineyards in the Cote d'Or of Burgundy. But among white Burgundy wines, yes it is considered to be the rarest and most costly collector's item among the great white Burgundies. Go into a fine wine store with a temperature- controlled wine vault to find them.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "Burgundy makes you think of silly things; Bordeaux makes you talk about them, and Champagne makes you do them."
    ~~ Brillat-Savarin


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I've taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has ever taken from me."
    ~~ Sir Winston Churchill


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Going to the opera, like getting drunk, is a sin that carries its own punishment with it."
    ~~ Hannah More


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Since I have been watching my diet, I have been using center cut pork chops as a mainstay. Before I get to the store I would like to know what type to wine to ask for.
    Answer:
    Pork, the "other white meat", can marry well with either a white or red wine. But with your black pepper sauce I would definitely recommend a red. The best choice would be the SYRAH grape and its relations because they have a natural pepper quality plus a lot of black raspberry fruit and richness. All versions are dry and full-bodied with a good amount of alcohol. The French originals are called "Cotes du Rhone" (moderately priced label), and include more expensive types such as "Chateauneuf du Pape", "Hermitage", and "Gigondas". Or you can get California SYRAH, such as Joseph Phelps "Vin du Mistral", Sean Thackery, Rowland, etc. And of course you can also get an Australia SHIRAZ which is the same Syrah grape, including brands such as Water Wheel "Bendigo", Rosemount "Reserve", Hardy's, etc. One other possibility is a California "Petite Sirah" which is a clone of the Syrah grape--Guenoc winery does one of the best.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    How do I find out the price of this wine?
    Answer:
    Readers who discover a dusty old bottle in their cellar often ask me this question (as do those inquisitive types who are given a gift of wine and would like to know how much it’s worth). You can check the web site of your local liquor store or the winery itself. But in the case of older wines, you may want to search the web site of the auction houses, such as Christies and Sothebys, which give the prices paid for mature bottles.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.



    Question:
    I am looking for a few moderately priced wines for everyday use. Could you provide 3 reds and 3 whites? What are your favorite everyday wines?
    Answer:
    The simplest wine questions are always the hardest to answer because I don't know what you like! Do you like very robust, heavy reds-or lighter wines and slightly sweet whites? And you do not specify a price range-- everyone's idea of everyday is different. And just a dollar or two increase in price can make a world of difference in the quality and appeal of the taste. But let me give you six wines based on the assumption you like a range of wines and are talking under $10 a bottle. Best Value for Money = Whites = Chardonnay or Sauvignon Blanc from California/Reds = Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon or Zinfandel = NAPA RIDGE, TALUS, FORESTVILLE, VILLA MT. EDEN, WENTE, GEYSER PEAK, FETZER, CHATEAU SOUVERAIN, BUENA VISTA, QUIVIRA, ST. SUPERY, GUENOC. Good Rieslings which are medium-dry whites that are light and fruity, try CHATEAU STE. MICHELLE (Washington State) or GERMAN RIESLING KABINETT. Best Italian Sangiovese (my favorite smooth red)= BOLLA, RUFFINO "FONTE AL SOLE"; Best Australia Shiraz (another favorite smooth red)= PENFOLDS "Koonunga Hill"; Best Chile Wines = ERRAZURIZ and CALITERRA. Best Spanish reds for price are RIOJA or RIBERA DEL DUERO (any brand). Hope this helps. Go to a fine wine store in your area and they will have lots and lots of brands within these types for under $10. Good Luck!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    How do I find a wine if it’s not in my wine store?
    Answer:
    Many readers tell me about a fabulous wine they had on vacation or at a friend’s house but couldn’t find in their local wine store. To find a wine, first check the liquor store’s web site, as many have searchable databases that will tell you whether they stock the wine and at which locations. Some chains also have hotlines you can call. If they don’t sell the wine, they may be able to give you the name and phone number of the sales agent who represents it so that you can buy directly. You can also look at the winery’s web site, which often lists local retailers or agents. If not, you can e-mail the general mailbox to ask about them.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


    "I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved."
    ~~ Rose Kennedy on her 100th birthday


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A typical wine writer was once described as someone with a typewriter who was looking for his name in print, a free lunch and a way to write off his wine cellar. It's a dated view. Wine writers now use computers."
    ~~ Frank Prial, NYTimes, January 21, 1998


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "The butler was caught taking a swig from the red wine that was to be served with dinner. He denied having any compulsion to drink. I had opened the bottle to allow it to breathe," he explained. "But it wasn't doing very well, so I tried to give it some artificial respiration.""
    ~~ K. L. Jones Saturday Evening Post, Nov. 2000, Small Masterpieces


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Why decant wine?
    Answer:
    Wines are decanted to get rid of sediment, the organic matter that naturally precipitates from the wine as it matures. The wines that throw the most sediment are mature, full-bodied red wines and vintage port. The second reason to decant is to let the wine breathe so that it helps to warm up a wine that’s too cold, soften any harsh tannins and open up its aromatics. This is especially true of rough-and-not-ready reds, particularly young, full-bodied ones: cabernet sauvignon, zinfandel, brunello, barolo, bordeaux, rioja, shiraz, syrah and Northern Rhone wines.


    Natalie MacLean is the author of Red, White and Drunk All Over: A Wine-Soaked Journey from Grape to Glass. She was named the World’s Best Drink Writer for the articles and wine picks in her free wine newsletter available at www.nataliemaclean.com.


    "The best wine is the oldest, the best water the newest."
    ~~ William Blake


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day."
    ~~ Frank Sinatra


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Any suggestions for a Valentine's Day sweet sparkling wine?
    Answer:
    Yes, I do have some suggestions for you and your fiancé as regards a sparkling wine or Champagne that's slightly sweet for Valentine's Day. Have you ever tried ASTI SPUMANTE? It's the very well known sparkling wine from Italy made from white Muscat grapes which make it slightly sweet. It's very moderately priced. My favorite brand is Martini & Rossi, which sells for about $11 on sale. Other good brands are Cinzano and Banfi. Banfi also does a very romantic red Muscat sparkling wine from Italy called BRACHETTO. May be harder to find, but it's delicious and costs about $19. Or you can get a real French Champagne, but don't buy Brut which means dry, buy those labeled "Extra Dry" which is slightly sweeter than Brut. I know it's the opposite of common sense but that is the traditional terminology. All the French Champagnes like Mumm do an Extra Dry for about $20. And in California they also do some Extra Dry style sparkling wines in about $14 price range. Spain also does Extra Dry sparkling wines in the $9 price range. So you have many choices. Enjoy your sweetie and your sweet bubbly!


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "It's all right, the white wine came up with the fish."
    ~~ Herman J. Mankiwicz (sp?) after getting sick at a formal dinner.


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts."
    ~~ Finley Peter Dunne


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "The best thing about a cocktail party is being asked to it."
    ~~ Gerald Nachman


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."
    ~~ Tom Waits


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure."
    ~~ Ambrose Bierce


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "The only time I ever said no to a drink was when I misunderstood the question."
    ~~ Will Sinclair


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine."
    ~~ Fran Lebowitz


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    When I went into the store to buy sweet red wines for after dinner, I was told by the clerk that most red wines were dry. Am I clueless or are they?
    Answer:
    You're not clueless, they are! Yes, over 90% of red wines are dry, so finding a fruity, slightly sweet one takes some thinking. But PORTO is one of the world's greatest sweet reds, and it is definitely an after dinner dessert wine. Best types are "Vintage" Porto, which is the most expensive, but more reasonably priced is "Ruby Porto" or "Late Bottled Vintage" or other red Portos such as Graham's Six Grapes etc. Porto will be sweet red, high in alcohol at 20%. But if you want a lighter red wine that is only slightly sweet, then may I recommend a couple of other wines: LAMBRUSCO Red wine from Italy is a very high volume selling wine in the U.S. and refreshing from slight fizzy quality and can be served chilled and its inexpensive--try the Riunite red. The same company also does a red sparkling wine from Brachetto grapes called: BRACHETTO d' ACQUI from Italy. It's in the $24 price range. Lambrusco is only $5 per bottle. Most Ruby Porto from Portugal starts at $15 per bottle. Other famous sweet red wines include: Banyuls from France, Mavrodaphne from Greece and Recioto della Valpolicella from Italy.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    What is a good bottle of wine in $10-$50 price range?
    Answer:
    When I get a question like yours I want to shout, "help"! You don't tell me what kind of red wine you like? Do you prefer Cabernets or Pinot Noirs, do you prefer French or California, do you really mean wines that are vastly different in quality--because there is a world of difference between a $10 red and a $50 red! Do you want to buy this red to drink now, or do you want to cellar it for a few years? All these will determine what I recommend to you. My suggestion, forget low price wines at the $10 range and aim for wines that are $20-$30. You don't have to go all the way up to $50 to find wines you can both drink now and save for a few years. In the $20-$30 price range there are many, many wonderful California wines that are either called Cabernet Sauvignon by their main grape, or Meritage red. Both are usually blended with a small amount of Merlot and Cabernet Franc etc. like they do in Bordeaux. Wineries in this price range making great Cabernet or Meritage Red include: Chateau St. Jean, Joseph Phelps, St. Supery "Meritage Red", Estancia "Meritage", Beaulieu Vineyard "Tapestry", Beringer Alluvium etc. Go to a fine wine store in your area and ask them to show you these wines and other brands like them.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com



    Question:
    To decant or to decant? I am trying to be funny but it seems to be serious business---following all of the regulations regarding the serving of wine. Please instruct me.
    Answer:
    All wines benefit from decanting, because it aerates the wine, lets it breathe. Only very old red wines should not be exposed to air for very long because they have such a fragile, delicate aroma. Every other type of wine needs air to release the beautiful aromas that have been trapped in the bottle. Professionals decant older red wines or vintage Porto off their sediment and that is the main purpose of decanting for these types of wine that throw a heavy sediment. Here are some other regulations, as you call them, for the proper service of wine.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food!"
    ~~ Leslie Duncan


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "If your doctor warns that you have to watch your drinking, find a bar with a mirror."
    ~~ John Mooney


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    In the summer we do a lot of grilling including hamburgers, is there a hamburger wine?
    Answer:
    For grilled hamburgers, the three most frequently suggested dry, red wines are: ZINFANDEL (California), MERLOT (California or Chile) and SHIRAZ (Australia). These can be found in the moderate price range for everyday drinking and will go with just about any grilled item. Zinfandel tends to be the highest in alcohol, but with nice natural blackberry flavors. Merlot is the smoothest and very popular. Shiraz has a nice spice character with some natural black raspberry fruit--and it's not as heavy as Zinfandel, but fuller than Merlot.


    Excerpt from Wine Faqs: Real Questions-Real Answers by Anita L. Laraia- www.anitalaraia.com


    "Health is what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down."
    ~~ Phyllis Diller


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "Wine experts are of two kinds, gastronomic and intellectual, distinguishable according to whether, on the sight of a bottle they reach for their glass or their glasses."
    ~~ Thomas McKeown


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner


    "A hard drinker, being at table, was offered grapes at dessert. 'Thank you,' said he, pushing the dish away from him, 'but I am not in the habit of taking my wine in pills."
    ~~ Anthelme Brillat-Savarin


    Excerpt from Vintage Humor for Wine Lovers by Malcolm Kushner



    Question:
    Does the shape of the wine glass really make a difference?
    Answer:
    Absolutely--the taste of the wine does change depending on the glasses you use. Professional tasters, when they are blending great French Champagnes for instance, use several different shape glasses to taste each grape variety and vineyard to decide how to blend them together. Each glass shape accentuates certain components of the aroma/taste in the same wines. This was dramatically demonstrated at a Reidel wine glass tasting. Reidel, Austrian crystal company, makes wine glasses in completely different shapes for each grape variety or type of wine--for example they make a Bordeaux/Cabernet S